 His legacy |
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Bryan's Life
Bryan was born three weeks over due, just the day before his father Floyd Jensen was going on a two week hunting trip to Canada. Bryan was the last child born after two sisters, Brenda and Betty. Therefore, he was also, five years apart from them.
Before Bryan was a year old, Floyd and I separated, with my having custody of the three children. Working everyday as a secretary for a Manufacturing Company, I had to tote the three little ones off to a day care provider each morning.
Bryan was a happy toddler, learning to walk at only nine months. Of course his oldest sister Brenda, wanted to do everything for him, she was quite the little mom!"
Bryan never had a real illness or injuries during his childhood, like a lot of boys who either busted legs or arms. We almost busted his arms and legs trying to pull him out of bed to get up for school because he was so stubborn. Often times me and the girls dragged him across the floor trying to get him to wake up. He would always, get up and run right back into the bed. Bryan become alot more out going once we moved to a farm and begin helping with farm chores. Although he and the girls both hated anything to do with the milking of cows, but all loved feeding the baby calves. Bryan's biggest joy was driving Grammpas' Ford tractor and helping with the raking and haying season. Of course, like the girls, they screamed bloody murder when it was time to help pick the rocks in the field to get ready for planting time.
Bryan was very intelligent in his younger years, or perhaps all his life, but he applied himself more in his young adolescent life than in his early adult life. Being five years younger then his sister he still helped her with her math most the times. As Bryan aged, though I noticed that his writing skills and interest had fallen short of success. I contribute alot of that to his life being in a shambles from My constant relocating for one reason or another. However, Bryan applied himself wholeheartedly to his jobs, working first as I recall at Burger King. How I hated the smell when he came home of the grease!" Then he started working for Freightliner until they laid him off. In his last years he was working as a welder for the Boilermakers union. He traveled all over the US for different jobs. Because of that , Bryan had purchased two old used travel trailers which he could pull with him for use as housing.
Bryan would come to visit Doug and I, while we lived here in Oregon, but usually he needed a special invite, like for dinner. Then quietly he would sit and watch a little Tv with Doug, and leave. Doug and him often times talked about the job, or cars. Getting any other information out of Bryan was like pulling teeth without novicane. Sometimes he would bring his girlfriend over with him, which ever one he was seeing at the time.
When Doug and I moved to Minnesota to prepare for retiring in Costa Rica, I hadn't seen Bryan for about a year or more. When I was informed by his sister Brenda that Bryan was dating Angela, a women who had four children from previous relationship(s) I was worried.
Bryan always wanted to be a parent, and needed love more than anything. I certainly didn't want him to settle for a women with four children for his first real relationship. The first bad sign was when Angela forbide Bryan to have any further contact with his closest friend, Jason. Then six months into the relationship, she demanded that Bryan purchase a home for her children and her. Although, he asked her to give it more time, he needlessly gave in to her request, and went into deep financial debt trying to keep her happy. The applicances in the house weren't good enough and of course she had to have brand new everything.
I do not know the real problems that occured between Angela and Bryan, only that when income taxes came in , I was told she moved out and left Bryan holding all the debts. He spent hours sharing his concern with his buddy, Jason and together they came up with a solution that Bryan could let Jason help him with the finances while Bryan continued to work, and stay with Jason.
I do know that even Jason father, loaned Bryan $10,000 for new windows in the home he had purchased. This loan was just days before Bryan decided he couldn't live with us anymore. Fortunately, the father was able to get his money back before the check was cashed.
Bryan had many good friends not only from the company he worked for, but also through his contacts with Jason. I know that before Bryan became in volved with Angela, Jason and him often went to bars and would shoot pool. I think most of Bryans social life ended when Angela came into his life and begin running it for him. It saddens me that one time even she had to remove his guns from the house because of fear that he would kill himself. Strange that when he was desperately trying to reach her on February 4th that she couldn't return his messages or phone calls. Nor could she go check on him from the time he started calling her in the early afternoon until 1:00 p.m. then next day when she couldn't get an answer on his phone.
Well she found out why, as she bust into her home she shared with Bryan but found locks had been changed. I do believe Bryan had just the person he wanted to find him. My son, our brother laid in his brand new bed purchased for her, with his blood covering his sheets, soaked to the box spring, from a self inflicted gunshot wound to the head.
I'm glad in alot of ways I didn't have to see my son there, but at this point I don't think it would make the grief any harder either way. I still see my son's white face and body lying on the funeral homes table for viewing. My baby was gone, forever taken from me and his sisters.
I will never understand his pain that could be so heavy that he couldn't have friends and family help him through this. Somedays I still can't accept that he is gone.
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